Changes, Moderation, and Addiction

The last three years of my life have seen many a change. I've developed new habits, ways of living, loves, hates, addictions, and I've taken on change with as much of an embrace as I can muster. As of late I've finished my fifth moving leaving me in Palm Desert in my girlfriend's mother's home. They've taken me in with nothing but warmth and happiness, which is pretty nice.

This change is making an impact on my habits. Along with me being broke, in a relationship which I need to dedicate a lot of my time and all of my being to, and me not having much of anything to show for my last few years, I'm having to moderate myself. For one it's time for me to cut down on my addictions. My addiction to caffeine as brought on through over two years of daily drinking of Monster energy drinks has been one that I'm having to cut down on. It seems to be working, my headaches don't happen too often anymore, mainly only if I drink them two days in a row and then skip a day. That'll do it.

The other cut has been a long running hobby in which I've invested a lot of time into. Sadly I have nothing to show for this investment, as it's all been for a ridiculous video game. Sounds pretty pathetic, close to eighty days worth of time invested in something virtual that has no real affect on my life. But still I feel very indifferent about it. On one hand i see how selfish it is to take five hours out of just about every day to play a video game and be completely disattached to everything around me. Then again on the other hand I really do enjoy it. It's lame and stupid in many people's eyes but it's precisely the kind of game I like to play.

I've always been a believer in the idea that if you can't give a man everything in the world then at the very least give him something to do, and that's my something to do. It's kept me from focusing on the loneliness and stress in my worst times. But now I suppose I'm at a point that I don't need it anymore, a point that it'll just be better to let it go. Oh well, at least my account will stay frozen until I reopen it if that day ever comes.

Changes in my life are leading to a very real need for moderation, it's just up to me to break down and accept them for what they are, and what they stand for.